Help! My Principal Said It’s Not My Job To Police Students’ Morals



Dear We Are Teachers,

It’s my third week of teaching at a new school this year, but my 10th year overall teaching 8th grade. My new principal called me in last week and said several parents have complained that I’m “overstepping” my boundaries as a teacher by inserting my opinion on “nonacademic, nondisciplinary issues.” When I asked for examples, he brought up that I told a student we don’t use the word “gay” pejoratively and we don’t use the “R-word” at all. Another parent complained that I corrected a student who rolled his eyes when he found out he was in the same group as another student he didn’t like. I waited for my principal to confirm that he was on my side, but he never did! I don’t want to get on my new principal’s bad side, but I genuinely thought kindness was a part of my job. Should I get clarification from him?

—Copping a Bad Rap  

Dear C.A.B.R.,

Well. Your principal is certainly making a statement on where he stands on the value of social-emotional skills. 

For me, this would be grounds to make this year my last at that school. I don’t think I could sit idly by while my students say hurtful things about each other or others. Plus, I wouldn’t expect a principal who cares that little about students’ emotional needs to care about mine either.

Whether you stay after this year is your decision. But in the meantime, I would ask for clarity on what kinds of classroom issues you should redirect vs. ignore. What should you do about cursing? What constitutes bullying? At what point should you intervene in incidents between students? It’s best if you can get this in writing. 

If you really want to move the needle on this issue, get parents involved. The next time one of your students is negatively affected by this “free-range” behavior management style your principal is endorsing, contact the parents of the child and explain that you wanted to make them aware of an incident that happened in your classroom, but due to school policy, you were prohibited from intervening. 

And when they justifiably say, “Excuse me? What?”, explain that you’re happy to connect them with your principal, who can explain this policy further. 

Dear We Are Teachers, 

I teach high school art and recently switched from a Title I school to a school in a very wealthy area. I loved my job at my old school, but I felt like the administration didn’t care about art—my supplies and needs, and I was constantly being dragged from the classroom for roles that weren’t at all my responsibility. At my new school, all my needs are met (I even have a kiln!). But here, the students are the ones who don’t care! They refuse to clean up after themselves (“That’s your job.”), they only turn in about half their work because they know art isn’t a weighted credit, and they regularly treat it as a study hall where they work on their more “important” classes. I don’t want my admin to think I can’t hack it, but I’ve genuinely never seen this level of apathy. What should I do? 

—No Heart in Art

Dear N.H.I.A.,

I, too, have seen the different advantages and challenges of working in schools on opposite sides of the funding spectrum. And it’s definitely not as black-and-white as people want to think. 

I would talk to your administration first. I don’t think it will sound like you’re complaining if you phrase it this way: 

“First, I just want to say that I’m loving being a part of [school]. I wanted to get some clarity on your expectations for me as the art teacher here. Many of my students have told me that since art isn’t a weighted credit, they don’t need to do the work. Instead of my assignments, they often work on homework or assignments for another class. Now, if this is traditionally the way art class is run here and it’s OK for me to only have partial student participation, that’s fine. I just wanted to know what your expectations were, especially as it’s related to grading and my evaluations.” 

Personally, if I were that principal, I would be horrified hearing that students under my leadership were so collectively gross to a new teacher. But one of two things will happen: 1) Your principal will interrupt you halfway through to clarify that students should absolutely not be treating your class that way and give you recommendations on how to proceed. Or 2) Your principal will say some equivalent of, “Yeah. That sounds about right. Can’t win them all, right?” 

If it’s the second situation, don’t waste your energy hunting down assignments or demanding attention from your out-of-touch students. Send weekly mass emails to students who have missing assignments and mass-email (BCC, of course) parents to let them know students are failing every other week. Run your class based on the students who are interested, even if it’s just a handful per class. Give honest grades. And at the end of the year, evaluate whether this is still the school for you. 

Dear We Are Teachers,

This is my third year teaching at an elementary school where one teacher clique in particular is very influential with administration. Every year, my school has a carnival in November as a fundraiser. It’s a lot of work, but it’s a fun tradition that kids and families love, and it brings in a lot of money. This year, the influential teacher clique floated the idea of using a popular (but, in many of our opinions, problematic) third-party fundraising company instead of doing the school carnival. In a Google Form, 91% of staff voted to keep the school carnival. But guess what our principal announced would be our fundraising source this year? 🙄 How do you fight back against a clique that the administration clearly favors? 

—It’s Us vs. the Mean Girls 

Dear I.U.V.T.M.G.,

Organize another Google Form after the event called “OK, Which of You Dummies Actually Enjoyed This Year’s Bonkers Fundraiser?” Or, I don’t know, workshop the title a little bit.

But really, I do think you as a faculty deserve a debrief. One that includes the total money brought in for the school (not including the cut the third party got) compared to the total brought in for each of the school carnivals over the last few years to compare. Plus, thoughts and reflections from the staff about how they felt coordinating the new fundraiser compared to the carnival. 

But here’s the thing. The clique floated a new idea (which is not a crime). Admin went with it despite most of the faculty being against it (also not a crime). But what would be a crime is if the third-party fundraiser brought in less money and is going to permanently replace a beloved tradition. (Kidding. That would not be a crime either. But it would be really annoying.)

Personally, I don’t think this is a battle worth fighting. Let the carnival-deprived parents shoulder this one.

Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’ve taught 7th grade at my current school for nine years. I knew that a coworker on my team was getting married and helped throw her a bridal shower at the end of school. She reiterated at the shower that they were keeping the wedding very small, so I assumed that’s why I didn’t get an invite. But I just saw on Instagram last week photos of the wedding at a huge venue, and pictures included our entire department plus an additional 10 to 15 teachers from our school. I’m so hurt. Should I ask her why I was the only one not invited to her wedding? 

—Feeling Like a Minus One



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