Gabrielle Swanson is living the dream many moms barely dare to imagine. In a now-viral TikTok video with over 600,000 views, she’s lounging on her comfy couch, wrapped in the warmth of a crackling fire, sipping tea in a clean and peaceful home. And as she takes in this rare moment of tranquility, she shares a truth that has resonated with millions:
“Whenever anyone asks, ‘Do you want more kids? Do you ever think you’ll have more?’ I’m just like… would you, like, start over?”
@talkwithgab One & done is such a happy time and not enough people say it 🥰 #oneanddone ♬ original sound – Gabrielle Swanson
Her four-year-old son is happily playing upstairs with his dad. And Swanson? She’s getting something many moms only dream about: me time.
The case for one and done in a society that barely supports moms
The video struck a nerve because, let’s be honest—motherhood is exhausting, and the world isn’t exactly making it more manageable. The decision to have more than one child isn’t just about personal desire but systemic realities. In a society where:
It’s no wonder more families are deciding that one child is enough. And while the default expectation has long been to have two or more kids, that narrative is shifting.
According to Census data, one-child families are now the fastest-growing family unit in the U.S. Research suggests that, for many families, this choice may come with unexpected benefits.
Related: The emotional cost of being first: Study finds higher rates of anxiety in firstborn & only children
What the research says about one-child families
Studies have shown that parents of one child report lower stress levels and higher life satisfaction than those with multiple kids. Experts point to a few key reasons why:
- More time for themselves (which Swanson makes very clear she enjoys!)
- More financial stability (because raising a child is expensive—adding more only amplifies the pressure)
- More one-on-one time with their child (without feeling stretched thin)
While parents of one child often report lower stress, some research suggests only children may have different experiences, such as higher parental expectations. However, studies increasingly show that only children thrive just as much as those with siblings.
It’s not about one path being “better” than another but finding what works best for each family.
Motherhood looks different for everyone—and that’s okay
As a mom of five, I understand why some parents choose to be one and done—or even opt out of parenthood entirely. Raising a family is deeply personal; every parent has different needs, capacities, and desires.
We don’t live in a society that makes having multiple children easy. Instead of pressuring moms to do more, we should create a world where every family feels supported—no matter their size..
So, does stopping at one kid give you more joy, balance, and peace? That’s enough. Do you want a big, bustling house full of kids? That’s enough, too. (And please send babysitters.)
Because there’s no right way to do motherhood—only the way that works best for you.
Related: Yes, I want more children—but I’m enjoying my only child for now
Sources:
- Debunking the Myths of the Only Child. Greater Good – Berkley Education. Debunking the Myths of the Only Child.
- Raising an Only Child. Center for Children & Youth. Raising an Only Child.
- My daughter will be an only child – and I’m not going to feel guilty about it. The Guardian. My daughter will be an only child – and I’m not going to feel guilty about it.
- Partner + Children = Happiness? Wiley Online Library. Partner + Children = Happiness? The Effects of Partnerships and Fertility on Well-Being.
- Are Mothers Happier With One Child or More? Psychologoy Today. Are Mothers Happier With One Child or More?
- The joys, struggles and myths of being a ‘one-and-done’ parent. WRAL News. The joys, struggles and myths of being a ‘one-and-done’ parent.
