Those who struggle with chronic illness know that the journey between describing symptoms to a doctor and finally receiving a diagnosis is long and hard.
Selma Blair, who was first diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) in 2018, recently spoke about her personal experience with gender bias before her official diagnosis, ET reports.
In a 2023 interview with with Meet the Press, the actress opened up about her struggles with intense pain and the subpar treatment she received from medical officials. In one particularly upsetting moment, she recounted a time when doctors advised her to “get a boyfriend.”
“I just cried,” Blair explained, “I had no capability to process. ‘What am I supposed to do with this information?’ I knew the pain was real. I thought it was. But I did start to convince myself, ‘You’re overly sensitive. There’s nothing wrong with you. Get it together, you lazy, lazy whatever.’”
It’s unfathomable that a woman would go to a doctor, explain her pain and be told that a boyfriend is the answer to her problems. In what world does that make sense to anybody, let alone someone who went to school and got a degree in healthcare?
The Cruel Intentions actress pointed out that she experienced gender bias from a young age when her symptoms first started. She wasn’t taken seriously by the healthcare industry even as she witnessed how male peers were treated quite oppositely.
“It was a gender bias, a lot of it, because there would be a boy in my grade that would go in for the exact same chronic headache and fever, and he is in surgery and a MRI within the week,” she said. “I was never given a MRI even though I always had headaches and fevers and balance [problems]. But they just said, ‘Oh, just dramatic.’”
Medical gaslighting like this isn’t uncommon. On average women are diagnosed 2 to 4 years later than men. Medical gaslighting occurs when a patients’ symptoms or concerns aren’t taken seriously, are dismissed or chalked up to being purely psychological.
Women feeling uncomfortable in medical spaces isn’t uncommon either. One study shows that nearly 50% of responding women felt hesitant to share concerns with their doctor during prenatal visits. A separate report found that 72% of women millennial women felt ignored by their healthcare providers.
Selma Blair also emphasized that she carries “so much medical trauma.” So when she received her diagnosis in 2018, she said she felt relief because she finally had an explanation for her symptoms.
During the interview, Blair also took a moment to send a message to doctors. “I really wish they would listen. Nothing was taken seriously. I want doctors to listen, keep things in mind,” she stressed.
As she continues to live her life with MS, she also mentioned that she is “doing better every day.” Blair has been in remission since 2021.
A version of this story was originally published on Dec. 6, 2023. It has been updated.
