When I was 12, we got a computer that sounded like it was trying to launch a spaceship every time it connected to the internet. At 15, I got my first cell phone—red, not “smart,” and strictly for telling my parents it was time to pick me up from basketball practice.
Fast-forward a couple decades, and now my kids are growing up in a world where FaceTiming Grandpa (did that last night), texting their best friends (doing it right now), and ChatGPT’ing fitness routines for baseball players are just a normal Tuesday.
We are officially the first generation of parents raising digitally-native kids. And like most modern moms, I’m figuring it out as I go—equal parts amazed and overwhelmed.
So when a new study from the University of South Florida dropped today, shaking up a lot of what we thought we knew about kids and tech, I sat up straight. Turns out, smartphone ownership might not be the doom spiral we’ve all been warned about—in fact, it might actually help our kids thrive.
Related: Why Australia’s social media ban for kids under 16 could change parenting worldwide
Wait, what? Kids with smartphones are doing better?
Yep. According to the USF researchers, kids ages 11 to 13 who have their own smartphones were:
- Less likely to show symptoms of anxiety and depression
- More likely to spend time in person with friends
- More likely to report higher self-esteem
I see it with my own kids—having cell phones (which our family just introduced in the last few months) has enabled them to nurture their social lives with their friends while at home. They laugh, share memes, make plans to get together. It’s powerful. It’s modern childhood.
So the new study portrays a nuanced, surprisingly hopeful message. As Justin D. Martin, lead researcher and journalism professor, put it: “Not only was [smartphone ownership] not harmful—most of the time, we found the opposite.”
Cue collective mom exhale.
But there are real risks—and they have everything to do with how kids use tech
Here’s where it gets trickier. The study also found that kids who regularly post publicly on social media were:
- Twice as likely to report moderate or severe symptoms of anxiety and depression
- More likely to experience cyberbullying and sleep disruption
- At higher risk for anger issues and compulsive tech use
In other words: the phone isn’t necessarily the problem. It’s what kids are doing with it that matters.
What parents need to know and do
Know:
- Owning a smartphone can support kids’ social lives and mental health—but only when used intentionally.
- Public posting on social media is tied to increased depression, anxiety, and sleep problems.
- Cyberbullying is more common than many parents realize—and even “minor” incidents can have big mental health impacts.
- Most kids get their first phone by age 8.5—so early guidance matters.
Do:
- Say yes to smartphones—with training wheels. Choose phones designed for safety, like the Bark Phone, which lets kids text and call while giving parents smart monitoring tools.
- Discourage public posting. Talk about how sharing privately with friends is different from posting for “everyone.”
- Ban the bed-phone combo. Encourage charging phones outside the bedroom to protect sleep quality (the study found kids who slept with phones got 45 minutes less sleep per night).
- Watch for red flags. Emotional outbursts, withdrawal, or obsession with being online could signal cyberbullying or tech overuse.
- Keep the conversation going. Check in regularly—not just about rules, but about how they feel online.
A new era, a new approach
This USF study is just the beginning—it’s part of a 25-year research project that will follow 8,000 kids across their lives to truly understand how screens shape everything from mental health to attention span to adult relationships. That’s groundbreaking. And frankly? Long overdue.
We’re raising kids in a world that changes faster than we can type “screen time limits.” But if there’s one thing this study makes clear, it’s this: kids don’t need fewer tools. They need better ones—and they need adults who are willing to meet them where they are.
So let’s keep the conversation going. Let’s parent with intention instead of fear. And let’s build a culture that supports—not shames—mothers as we navigate this ever-changing digital landscape.
Because while it’s 2025 outside, the pressure on parents still feels suspiciously 1950s. It’s time for our tech, our policies, and our culture to finally catch up with us.
Related: Worried about your baby’s screen time? 5 strategies to reduce the pul