We’ve all been there. You’re scrolling Instagram, and there it is: a picture-perfect living room that looks straight out of Architectural Digest. The sofa is pristine, there’s a single Monstera leaf in a handcrafted vase, and no evidence that actual humans—or, gasp, children—live there. And then you look up at your own home: toys scattered across the floor, a pile of mail on the counter, and a slightly sticky coffee table. It’s hard not to feel… like the hot mess express.
But here’s the thing: that gorgeous kitchen photo where everything looks perfect? It’s not real life.
This realization hit me hard a few years ago when I started noticing just how many social media accounts, influencers, and home design websites were carefully crafting an image of perfection—not to inspire me, but to make me buy things. Once I saw it for what it was—strategic marketing, not reality—it became easier to appreciate my own home for what it really is: a place where my family actually lives our messy, meaningful life together.
Related: I never expected motherhood to be this messy
A “real home” tour
And that’s why TikTok creator Stephanie Murphy’s now-viral “average house tour” struck such a chord. Originally posted back in July 2023, Murphy’s video gained fresh traction recently as more creators are leaning into the trend of showcasing middle-class homes. Murphy, a mom and self-described “keeper of chaos,” walked viewers through her perfectly imperfect middle-class home.
Her fridge? Covered in her kids’ artwork, haphazardly slapped on with mismatched magnets. Her pantry door? It has been unpainted for three years. Her blinds? Held together with binder clips. “Let’s normalize ‘average,’ because there’s nothing wrong with it,” Murphy wrote in her caption. “Our house is lived in and filled with love—and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.”
And judging by the thousands of comments on her video, moms everywhere agree.
“This is awesome!” one commenter wrote. “I’m constantly feeling inadequate when people have a perfect house that looks like nobody lives there.”
Another chimed in, “I feel seen. My house is messy, but my kids are happy. That’s what counts.”
Embracing the mess
It’s easy to get swept up in the myth of the immaculate home, especially in an era when every corner of the internet is saturated with aspirational home content. But the moms celebrating their “average” homes are flipping the script—and we’re here for it.
Your home doesn’t have to look like House Beautiful to be beautiful. The fingerprints on the windows? Evidence of tiny hands exploring their world. The couch cushions tossed everywhere? Proof of epic family movie nights. The dishes in the sink? A reminder of a meal shared with loved ones.
Sure, it’s fun to dream about stylish furniture and color-coordinated bookshelves, but those dreams shouldn’t come at the expense of appreciating the magic in what you already have. Because let’s be honest: nothing says “real life” quite like a home filled with love and Legos.
Related: How to be a good mom: Ditch perfectionism and embrace being ‘good enough’
Here’s to real houses
Here’s to celebrating homes that are lived in. Homes with junk drawers, mismatched blankets, and the kind of joyful clutter that only a family can create. Because at the end of the day, what makes a home truly beautiful isn’t how it looks on Instagram—it’s the memories being made inside it.
So the next time you feel the urge to compare your home to someone else’s perfectly staged living room, remember this: Your home, just as it is, is enough. And in its imperfect, messy, love-filled way, it’s not ‘average,’ it’s downright perfect.
