It started with a now-viral post. UK dad Elliott Rae called out society for not using the term “working dad” the way we use “working mom.” He explained why fathers need to talk more openly about their parenting responsibilities at work—and how this small shift in language could create a big shift in culture.
Rae, founder of Parenting Out Loud, shared his personal journey with the UK’s Metro, where he talked about showing up at work as a whole person: both a parent and a professional. “We’ve used the term ‘working mum’ for generations, but the term ‘working dad’ still seems somewhat alien,” he wrote. “Language shapes culture and helps define how we think. It’s a shame to see that how we speak about working parents hasn’t evolved to keep up with the times.”
And he’s not wrong.
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Let’s be real—when we talk about working parents, we’re usually talking about moms. Moms are the ones expected to juggle school drop-offs, pediatrician appointments, and client meetings like Olympic gymnasts. Meanwhile, dads quietly take on more caregiving responsibilities than ever before, but few feel empowered to talk about it.
Rae says that needs to change. Men are stepping up at home—whether it’s being at the school play or managing the morning chaos—but workplace culture hasn’t caught up. Many dads feel awkward or even scared to say, “I have to leave early for daycare pickup,” fearing how it might affect their career.
“Not enough dads have employer support to be equal parents,” Rae pointed out.
This silence hurts everyone. When dads don’t feel comfortable being vocal about their parenting responsibilities, the invisible load of caregiving stays disproportionately on moms.
Dads: Time for parenting out loud
To push for change, Rae launched Parenting Out Loud, an initiative to help dads embrace their caregiving roles unapologetically. He encourages fathers to normalize behaviors like putting “soccer practice” on public work calendars or leaving meetings on time to pick up their kids—loudly, not sheepishly.
“To me, that looks like leaving the office loudly, declining or rescheduling meetings around childcare, or openly talking about parenting,” Rae explained. And guess what? It’s catching on.
This isn’t about dads wanting a pat on the back for doing what moms have done forever. It’s about creating workplaces where caregiving is equally visible, valued, and respected—no matter who’s doing it.
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Why it matters
Rae’s mission isn’t just a nice idea; it’s about rewriting the rules of work and family life. Because here’s the thing: the language we use shapes how we see the world.
Calling moms “working moms” acknowledges their dual roles—but where’s the equivalent term for dads? Ignoring it subtly reinforces the outdated idea that moms are the primary caregivers while dads are, well, just dads.
This matters on a systemic level, too. The “motherhood penalty” is real—moms often get hit with stalled careers, lower pay, and missed promotions simply because they’re moms. And the gender pay gap? 80% of it is tied to this imbalance.
If more dads parented out loud—if workplaces made space for them to do it without fear of judgment—it could change everything. Moms would feel less pressure to shoulder it all, and kids would grow up seeing caregiving as a shared responsibility, not a mom thing.
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Why ‘working dads’ are a win for moms
Let’s be clear: Normalizing “working dads” isn’t about dads—it’s about all of us.
When dads step up at home and talk about it at work, it doesn’t just lighten the load for moms. It chips away at the stigma around work-life balance. It shows that being a good parent and being good at your job aren’t mutually exclusive.
And honestly, it’s a ripple effect. When men advocate for flexible schedules or family leave policies, it benefits everyone. It sets the stage for a culture where parents—moms and dads—can thrive without sacrificing one role for the other.
This is how we change things. Not just for working moms, but for everyone who’s trying to balance ambition with family life.
Parenting out loud isn’t just about dads leaving early to pick up their kids. It’s about rethinking how we see work, family, and what it means to be a good parent.
So let’s normalize “working dads.” Let’s make it as ordinary as “working moms.” Because when dads win at home, moms win at work—and ultimately, society wins, too.
Related:The mental load of motherhood: 6 new ways to share parenting duties with your partner
